PLAY #348: LET’S PLAY WITH THE CLIMATE! (9.DEC.2015)

A large glasshouse with a large foam sign: #COP21.

SPIN POP FIZZ, a chirpy PR agent, welcomes the audience and directs people to different games that may take place simultaneously or in any order.

 

[i] [THE LONG JUMP]

 

Markings on the ground: 1.5 degrees, 1.6 degrees etc.

LET’s JUMP holds out a springy pole.

 

LET’S JUMP

let’s do this!

sure

there’s a strong chance that this Paris Accord

will aim to limit emissions to 1.5 degrees

but

it’s only symbolic

at the moment

our shared pledges put us at least 2.7 degrees

but we can do better!

who wants to get us to 4!

6!

let’s show them what we can do…

 

[ii] [SQUARE THAT BRACKET]

 

THE BRACKETEER holds out some large square brackets.

 

THE BRACKETEER

come this way!

I want you to bring your loved ones

or loved things

photos are nice

pretty words

ribbons where you write the things you most care about

put them all into these brackets

that’s right

we’ll look after the things in here.

 

But then off runs THE BRACKETEER with whatever is inside, people included, to who knows where, some better world where all people are valued, perhaps.

 

[iii] [LET’S SHOOT SOMETHING]

 

JUST SHOOT SOMETHING distributes large water-pistols filled with black liquid.

JUST SHOOT SOMETHING holds up targets of trees, oceans, silhouettes etc. and invites audience to shoot at something, anything.

 

[iv.] [GO GOLIATH!]

 

A wrestling show.

GREEN CLIMATE FUND takes on FOSSIL FUEL SUBSIDIES.

Except the gloves of FOSSIL FUEL SUBSIDIES are 40 times the amount of GREEN CLIMATE FUND.

 

GO GOLIATH! stands on the sidelines + cheers, encourages audience to cheer, dances across the stage when FOSSIL FUEL SUBSIDIES is triumphant.

 

[v] [RISKY BUSINESS]

 

RISKY BUSINESS opens up a large game of the boardgame risk, except there are pollution permits instead of armies and the winner is the one who makes the most $$ out of carbon credits.

 

Every now and then I’M JUST A DISASTER whirls in and rips away part of the board until there’s no board left to play on, but somebody has accumulated a lot of carbon credits, leading to much fanfare, applause, tears of joy from RISKY BUSINESS.

 

[vi] [PASS THE PARCEL]

 

Audience form a circle.

Cheery music plays.

Every now and then I’M JUST A DISASTER arrives and pulls out an audience member.

When the music stops, the parcel is unwrapped.

But nobody gets the present in the middle because by the time people have passed the parcel between the circle, unfortunately, unpredictably, I’M JUST A DISASTER has pulled everybody from the circle.

 

[vii.] [HERE ARE THESE LOOPHOLES, LET’s JUMP]

 

An obstacle course of large hoops.

CONTORTIONIST shepherds the audience through.

 

CONTORTIONIST

okay

so there are some tricky things about this accord

mitigation targets!

money that has to be added to the Green Climate Fund

but

let me introduce you to some loopholes

now

it make take some

serious gymnastics

to get through these

but let’s try!

 

CONTIORTIONIST leads the audience through various hoops

 

There are more games.

[Insert many more games here.]

Play until everybody is exhausted.

SPIN POP FIZZ claps excitedly at the end.

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