PLAY #306: I’M NOT VOLDEMORT (OCT 25)

JOURNALIST types.

SHADOW hovers behind.

 

JOURNALIST

Why are you always looking over my shoulder?

 

SHADOW

I’m your shadow. Where else am I supposed to look?

 

JOURNALIST

I don’t like people looking at me like that.

Scrutinizing.

 

SHADOW

That’s supposed to be your job?

 

JOURNALIST

Exactly.

I’m not doing anything wrong.

 

SHADOW

I didn’t say that you were.

 

JOURNALIST

You never say anything

You just hover behind me

watching

breathing

thinking dark thoughts

 

SHADOW

I’m your shadow, what am I supposed to do?

 

JOURNALIST

Of the hundreds of stories we covered last year

Only a handful were about them.

 

SHADOW

Impressive.

 

JOURNALIST

It’s naïve to think that other journalism is objective

that corporations aren’t pulling the strings

that Murdoch doesn’t have things he wants covered

at least with this there is clarity:

they pay for the newspaper

I produce the content.

The things people say

it isn’t fair

you’d swear I was Voldemort.

 

SHADOW

You shouldn’t read internet comments

and Voldemort’s not so bad

just misunderstood.

I’d pick Slytherin over Griffyndor anyday

all those pesky heroes and team spirit

irritating.

 

JOURNALIST

I don’t want to be Slytherin

I want to be Hufflepuff

I’m just a regular journalist trying to do my job.

 

SHADOW

Just a regular hufflepuff huffling along.

 

JOURNALIST

They’re who I write about

for the most part

Stories about regular people

Local news that the national media

Who has no problem pissing all over me for selling out

Would never feature in their paper.

We need local news

the government won’t fund it

why shouldn’t corporations?

 

SHADOW

There is your son.

 

JOURNALIST

I care about my son.

That’s why I do this.

I was laid off

Everybody in journalism was laid off

I do this to support my son.

 

SHADOW

There is the question of what your son will do

in thirty years time.

The question of climate change.

 

JOURNALIST

I care about global warming

I worry about it

but I have to make a living

I’m no Voldemort.

 

SHADOW

You don’t have to tell me

I’m your shadow

not your conscience.

I’m just a follower

there’s nothing I can do about anything.

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