PLAY #253: PLENTY OF FISH IN THE SEA (AUGUST 31)

Two friends in their twenties – ALEX and SAM.

ALEX passes a phone to SAM.

 

SAM

I don’t know, I’ve tried everything.

 

ALEX

This is different.

 

SAM

I’m tired of swiping or writing profiles.

 

ALEX

Trust me.

 

SAM

I don’t trust you but-

 

ALEX

Desperation opens many doors?

 

SAM

Sure.

 

SAM looks at phone.

 

SAM

Is this a joke?

 

ALEX

No.

 

SAM

These are…

 

ALEX

Amazing.

 

SAM

All jellyfish.

 

ALEX

I know.

 

SAM puts phone down.

ALEX picks it up.

 

ALEX

Give it a try.

 

SAM

You’re dating a jellyfish?

 

ALEX

It’s the future.

 

SAM

This is a joke.

 

ALEX

I have found happiness.

 

SAM

I need more wine.

 

ALEX

And I think you can too. Look at this one.

 

SAM

Like maybe a glass the size of a valley.

 

ALEX

Think about it: this is the future.

 

SAM

Jellyfish?

 

ALEX

Yes! The way the ocean is acidifying, we’re in prime jellyfish territory. Soon there won’t be much left in the ocean.

 

SAM

I guess I’ll have to cancel Tuesday’s date with a dolphin.

 

ALEX

You should; they’ll never survive the PH rise.

 

SAM

You’re really dating a jellyfish?

 

ALEX

Why I got that big tank.

 

SAM

And what about…

 

ALEX

Sex? Bit of a sting, if you like that kind of thing, but it’s not necessary. Jellyfish are very self-contained, they can reproduce asexually. I can look after myself beside the tank. It’s cleaner, really.

 

SAM

What about love?

 

ALEX

What’s not to love about a jellyfish?

(beat.)

The way I look at it, it’s simple. Climate change is going to fuck the planet up. Who’d want to raise a kid in the future we’re facing? Jellyfish are the future. We can either band together collectively to do something and change or lifestyles or we can protect our own happiness in the face of doom. Another great thing about jellyfish: they never worry about the future.

 

Pause.

 

SAM

Where do I sign up?

Advertisements