PLAY #146: JUSTICE FOR CARS (APRIL 30)

Baltimore, 2015. 

A police car surrounded by traffic cones.

One of the windows is smashed in.

COP-CHORUS patrol the car.

 

A white-shirted member of the COP-CHORUS, picks up a cone and uses it as a megaphone.

 

COP-CHORUS LEADER

let Allen Bullock be a lesson

don’t mess with our cars

police cars matter

$500,000 bail

is not excessive

for somebody

who would so heedlessly

destroy something so precious.

 

THE COP-CHORUS leans against the cop-car tenderly.

 

glass can only be smashed in one direction

something has been irrevocably lost

with the smashing of this window

and no response

can be too excessive.

 

COP-CHORUS LEADER directs some of the COP-CHORUS, who pick up traffic cones and position them at edges of the stage, pushing back an imagined crowd.

 

I applaud the media’s coverage of this event

windows have been broken

tennis shoes have been stolen

a reaction of horror is appropriate

in these circumstances

we are pushed to extremes

it is not excessive

to fill up jails

it is not excessive

to cram criminals in

it is not excessive

to set bail at $500,000

for those who would attack empty police cars.

 

COP-CHORUS place hands on the windows of the car.

 

we must protect

what is precious.

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PLAY #145: LET THERE BE WIND (APRIL 29)

Many plastic bottles on stage.

WIND-WEAVER enters, starts to transform plastic bottles into a mobile, tearing out their insides, crafting them so that they turn around on a stick.

 

WIND-WEAVER blows on the mobile, which moves.

A kaleidoscope of colored light.

 

From the side of the stage, SPIN POP FIZZ looks on, unsure what to make of all the colors.

PLAY #144: PORT PYROTECHNIC (APRIL 28)

Enter DELICIOUS DRAG-ON, a fabulous queen with an elaborate dragon-scale costume.

DELICIOUS DRAG-ON takes a plastic bottle from SPIN POP FIZZ and holds it up.

 

DELICIOUS DRAG-ON

if you’re going to play with fire

it might as well be worth it

if you’re not going to go big

well

you might as well head home.

 

DELICIOUS DRAG-ON slowly opens the bottle.

 

DELICIOUS DRAG-ON

even though

the chances of an explosion from liquefied natural gas are really

quite

slim

still there is that frisson

that chance that something might rupture

that in that shift from liquid to gas

something might go

boom

like a firework in a room

except

that this explosion would be so

big

it would out-volcano Vesuvius.

 

the bottle is open.

nothing happens.

DELICIOUS DRAG-ON smiles, clicks her fingers.

 

SPIN POP FIZZ throws a couple of plastic bottles her way.

DELICIOUS-DRAG ON starts to juggle, expertly.

 

DELICIOUS DRAG-ON

when you compare what’s on the menu for Port Ambrose

an offshore wind farm

or a pipeline to import LNG

well

the choice is clear

for us risk-lovers

for those who would dice with danger

for those who like to imagine the world lit up

fifty shades of orange

well then

the choice is clear.

 

DELICIOUS DRAG-ON lets all the bottles drop, smiles.

SPIN POP FIZZ presents her with flaming torches.

DELICIOUS DRAG-ON starts to juggle.

 

DELICIOUS DRAG-ON

you see

with LNG

we’re talking about a different kind of flame

the sort of explosion we dragons can only dream of

a fire so hot it could melt steel over a thousand feet away

a flame so fierce

that mortals standing a mile away

would still be burnt to the second degree.

now

there’s not much drama in renewable energy

so if we’re after the apocalypse

why don’t we pick the fuel with the higher carbon footprint?

why don’t we pick the choice

with that little risk

that could make the biggest boom

if we’re all going to burn in the end

why don’t we do it in style?

 

DELICIOUS DRAG-ON stops juggling, holds the flaming torches aloft.

 

DELICIOUS DRAG-ON

dragons support the construction of an LNG offloading site at Port Ambrose

won’t you?

 

DELICIOUS DRAG-ON sashays off.

SPIN POP FIZZ has a momentary pause, something like a conscience-burp.

It passes.

SPIN POP FIZZ applauds excitedly, clappedy clap clap, because public relations is just a job and if somebody’s got to do it, it might as well be SPIN POP FIZZ.

 

 

 

 

PLAY #143: FLOW INTO THE FUTURE (APRIL 27)

A meeting at the Union of Liquids.

LIQUIDS talk amongst themselves.

SPIN POP FIZZ, a human PR agent, enters, holding a plastic water bottle.

WATER represented by multiple actors.

 

WATER

you’re not a liquid

 

SPIN POP FIZZ

technically

humans are 90% water

 

WATER

not PR agents

you’re 100% bull-

 

SPIN POP FIZZ

Sit!

I come on behalf of a new dynamic liquid

 

WATER

we’re not letting natural gas join the Union of Liquids.

 

SPIN POP FIZZ holds up plastic water bottle.

 

SPIN POP FIZZ

let’s not make our heads spin with too much taxonomy

shouldn’t liquids be more fluid in their categorization!?

what is liquefied natural gas if not a liquid?

who are you to enforce divisions between substances?

hasn’t gas been especially accommodating to water vapor in the Union of Gases?

why wouldn’t you want LNG mingling with your group?

 

WATER

because LNG has a larger carbon impact than shale gas

because Port Amborse

where you’re trying to build an LNG port

is the very site for an offshore wind farm

 

SPIN POP FIZZ

why can’t we have it all?

isn’t that what our great leader says?

little bit of renewables

little bit of fracking

we’ll all be happy

once we’re not eating coal.

 

WATER

the windfarm can’t co-exist with LNG

because the risks of explosion are too high.

 

SPIN POP FIZZ

exaggeration!

LNG is as safe and natural as water.

 

WATER

except that it’s destroying us.

the more we frack

the faster the ocean turns acidic

the quicker we liquids change-

 

SPIN POP FIZZ

what’s wrong with a little acid?

don’t you get bored of having the same PH?

to be honest

I think water could do with a little fizz

 

WATER

we’re not letting LNG join the Union of Liquids

we won’t!

 

WATER starts to chant: NO LNG, NO LNG!

SPIN POP FIZZ smiles an implacable smile, holds up the plastic bottle.

 

SPIN POP FIZZ

flow with the future

don’t get fossilized in the past

liquidified natural gas

the next generation of fuel

coming to a port near you

as fast as freedom!

PLAY #142: THE BRIDGE (APRIL 26)

Lots of plastic bottles (from play #137 or elsewhere).

THE FRACKING TEAM enthusiastically gather the bottles.

FRACKING TEAM starts to make a bridge out of plastic bottles, bottles rising up like steps.

 

SPIN POP FIZZ holds up a plastic bottle and smiles.

THE THING IS looks on at the bridge, bewildered.

 

SPIN POP FIZZ

time to get with the 21st century

100%

natural gas

throw away those dirty fuels

and embrace something

pure

local

and natural.

 

THE THING IS

the thing is

natural gas is another fossil fuel

 

SPIN POP FIZZ ignores THE THING IS, continues to smile at the audience.

 

SPIN POP FIZZ

not only is natural gas better for you

it’s also better for the economy

and the climate

fracking is much cleaner than coal

whatever those lobbyists tell you

 

THE THING IS

the thing is

methane is much more potent than C02 and-

 

SPIN POP FIZZ

and don’t forget

natural gas is a bridge fuel

to a cleaner more sustainable future-

 

THE THING IS

the thing is

where is the bridge being built to?

shouldn’t the bridge be made of renewables rather than another fossil fuel?

why are we fracking at all when there are renewable alternatives?

 

SPIN POP FIZZ

so do your bit for the planet

guzzle up some natural gas

and help us build

a secure and sustainable bridge.

 

SPIN POP FIZZ holds up bottle to the audience.

FRACKING TEAM continues to build the bridge.

THE THING IS looks on.

 

PLAY #141: DISTORTION (APRIL 25)

 

A large glass fish bowl.

Inside –

many SCIENTISTS sitting at desks, conferring staring at cardboard screens.

Water up to the waist.

 

REPORTERS outside, with large pipes that look like periscopes.

They hold the pipes up, trying to listen to the SCIENTISTS whispering in the fish-bowl.

 

Every now and then, a SCIENTIST sticks something to the side of the fish-bowl, the parts underwater: a sign with numbers, some writing.

REPORTERS peer at the sign, whisper to each other.

REPORTERS whisper into their periscope-pipes, hold them out to the audience, but it’s hard to hear what they’re saying.

PLAY #140: UNDER THIS UMBRELLA, ELLA, ELLA…(APRIL 24)

A large green golf umbrella.

Lots of UMBRELLA-GOERS under it, having a party.

The atmosphere rowdy, excited.

The exchange of business cards, on recycled paper.

Clinking of glasses.

 

WHERE DO I FIT? walks onstage, stands at a distance from the umbrella.

It is not that nobody welcomes WHERE DO I FIT?

In fact, some of the UMBRELLA-GOERS gesture for WHERE DO I FIT? to join in.

 

But WHERE DO I FIT? doesn’t want to be under the umbrella, walks off.

UMBRELLA-GOERS continue to party.